I don't like flying, but I'm not afraid of aeroplanes. I don't like travelling along the motorway, but have no fear of cars or speed. I have an irrational fear of mash potato, but I really, really, really like chips.
Foxes are something I not only dislike but am also stupidly scared of. Doing a google image search for a photo of a fox I can appreciate they are very lovely looking animals. In a rural environment with the backdrop of luscious green fields and woodland area. Urban foxes are foul, usually covered in mange, and shit in my back garden. But more than that, they're not afraid of me anymore. Me or my border collie, Jack.
In recent months it has got so bad I don't like walking my dog after dark. This is something of a problem when I don't get home from work until seven most days and then you have to take into account some sit down time, Hollyoaks and food. So by the time I'm ready for Jack to don his collar and lead, the foxes are out there.
Walking my neighbourhood streets, I'm on my guard. I'm looking everywhere, spying into front gardens, down alleyways, behind me, around corners and underneath cars. Then, when I see one, because I will see one, I freeze. I don't know what to do. The fox doesn't run away. It never fucking runs away! It will sit itself down and stare at Jack, and then stare at me. Sometimes I'm twenty feet away, sometimes I'm two. And each time it happens I don't know what to do. I won't take my eyes off the fox for fear it will attack my useless lump of a dog who does nothing but pull on his lead a bit because he's growing impatient as I slowly pull him back with me as I retrace my steps, never looking away from the fox. Playing a game of stareouts with a fucking fox.
Inevitably, despite being the human being complete with opposable thumbs, I will take a different route and flee the fox. I don't run though. Running makes it harder to look around and check if the fox is chasing.
Poor Jack's walks are becoming something of a nightmare. For me because of the foxes, and for him because I keep cutting the length and number of times a week they happen.
Obviously I need to Man Up and deal with this. But, fuck me, foxes are scary.
